The hardest goodbye

This morning I searched through my phone to find an old voicemail I had saved. When I heard her voice, it immediately made me smile and cry simultaneously. It wasn't long after that, my mom called to tell me my Grandma had passed away. Mikah looked up at me. She noticed the tears rolling down my cheeks and simply said, "Stop it, Mom."

Goodbyes are never easy. And I know saying goodbye to one of the greatest women I have ever known will be so very difficult. But honestly, these passed few years have been difficult. I know she was still my Grandma. She just wasn't the fiesty, vivacious, independent woman she had always been. Age was beginning to catch up and she had become so frail. The last time I talked to her, her voice was only a whisper. She was on the verge of going to Heaven,

I think she just stayed a little longer to show us how much she loved us. I'm not ready to say goodbye,

but I'm so happy to know she is at peace.

I'm going to try to take my 2 year old's advice; there's no need to cry. Instead, I am trying my hardest to remember just how blessed I am for the 30 years i had with my Grandma. She's the most beautiful person I've ever known. This woman made everyone feel loved beyond measure. And her witty personality always caused smiles. Grandma was the supplier of happiness and laughs. All of my friends knew and loved her. She was selfless. You never went hungry at Grandma's house, whether you were hungry or not, you ate because she told you to. She lived an amazing life. I only hope I can be half the woman she was.

And the way all of my family came together for my Grandma.. It's hard to put into words. It is nothing short of amazing. It makes me proud to be a Machacek. She created one incredibly strong family..

and her genuine love is what has kept us all close and will continue to.

It's hard to imagine a life without her in it. Her house won't be the same without her sitting at the head of the table. But the memories she has left me; they're worth more than you know. I will always have a love for puzzles and cherish the late nights I spent with her putting together thousands of pieces. And oh, how she tried to make me and all of her grandkids good domino players. Pizza and wing night memories still make me smile. I will never see a peacock without thinking of her. Sundays will remind me of her fried chicken and noodle soup. Her tomato juice recipe should be worth millions. And I can only attempt to remember all the Czech words that she would always say. 

I am so thankful that Mikah, Livia, and Gemma all got to meet their great grandmother. I'm sad that they won't grow up to really know just how 'great' she was, But I know we all will happily remind them. Goodbye to the world's most amazing domino player; sweetest, most kind hearted Grandma.